As it turns out, not everyone finds kratom as delicious as I do. Yes, people are weird. Be that as it may, there are plenty of creative ways to make that miracle herb more palatable, and easy to get down in the process. One of the most popular methods is kratom honey balls, also known affectionately as turd balls. Can’t make this shit up.
Now there are a couple different spins on this recipe. Of course we’re rolling our way down easy street with the simplest version we can imagine. Here goes:
24 grams of kratom powder
25 grams of organic honey (extra gram for an extra slice of sweetness)
Ice cream scooper (optional)
Step 1: Weigh out 12 grams of kratom and place into the bowl.
Step 2: Drizzle your honey over the kratom.
At this point you may be thinking: Krampus, how the fuck do I weigh honey? It’s complicated, but it’s possible. This website provides some info a good method and some benefits. If you trust your judgment, you can get away with eye-balling it. No biggie.
Step 3: Take your handy spoon and mix the ingredients. Stir it real good until the honey binds to the kratom like a freaky, symbiotic marriage.
Step 4: Form the kratom honey into balls. If you have a good ice cream scooper, feel free to use it here. However, this step is easily done with CLEAN hands and a little love. They don’t have to be perfect, but we’re just making a circles Peoples. Come on.
Step 5: Lay the parchment paper down on the counter. You can use it as a rolling surface, or just a temporary placeholder as your balls come off the production line. Giggity?
Step 6: The last step is simply preparing your kratom honey balls for use. Our recipe yields six balls, each containing four grams of kratom powder. From here, some kratomites like to slice their balls into smaller pieces for easier ingestion. This yield wouldn’t last long around here, but these can be kept in the fridge, or even the freezer for longer term storage.
Your World, Your Way
The great thing about kratom honey balls is they’re practically impossible to screw up. Yep. Your resident fool is going on the record to call them fool-proof . That means you can shape these babies in your own vision. Adjust the amount of kratom. Lay it on thick with the honey. Throw it in a saucepan and add some cooking oil to bring some alkaloid goodness to the surface. It’s your show. Enjoy!!!
With so many strain options on the menu, choosing the right kratom is often a case of easier said than done. For the complete newb, it can be downright overwhelming. Never fear. We’re here to make the process of finding the best kratom a piece of cake. Buckle up, cause here we go!
1. Consider Your Needs
Everyone is unique, and thus have different requirements. For this reason, identifying your individual needs is the best place to start. Kratom helps in a number of areas, but some strains are better suited for certain needs than others. A perfect example can be seen in strain classes. While red vein kratom is known for its pain relieving qualities, white vein kratom is typically more energizing. So if you need a solution for chronic pain and fatigue, you might lean towards something green, since green vein kratom tends to fall in between red and white.
2. Read User Feedback
Word of mouth is a powerful marketing tool for vendors and a great source of information for consumers. The kratom community has been busy telling their personal stories for years. These testimonials often go into great detail regarding an individual’s motivation for using kratom, the strains they experimented with, and the results they saw in return. The web is chock full of reviews, comments, and opinions on kratom. So it’s a good idea to find yourself a group setting where you can sort through feedback that helps you make an informed decision.
3. Look for the Usual Suspects
Between the color classes, their corresponding strains, and all the branded kratom blends, there are literally dozens upon dozens of options to choose from. With that said, there are a handful of tried and true strains that have been proven to deliver. The Bali’s, Borneo’s and Maeng Da’s of the world instantly come to mind. It’s hard to go wrong when you choose a strain that has a reputation for helping people with similar needs.
4. Just KISS!
As someone new to kratom, the best thing you can do is subscribe to the KISS methodology – as in Keep It Simple Stupid! Not to insult your intelligence, but you put a lot of unnecessary pressure on yourself when you spend time scrolling through all the selections wondering what each individual strain has to offer. Sure, every strain is unique in its own special way, but each variety has more in common than you might think. Why make it harder than you have to? What’s most important is settling on a strain, giving it a shot, and determining how it works for you. Remember: an expert swimmer must get their feet wet before learning to swim.
So score some high-quality kratom from a reliable vendor and work on finding your sweet spot. Whether it’s a timeless classic like Red Vein Thai, or something new and exotic like Sahara, you simply need to get started. Once you decide that kratom is indeed effective and get some experience under your belt, you can shift to connoisseur mode and focus on snatching up every single strain that crosses your path … like me!!!
The very first blog we posted for Krampus Kratom outlined the Top 5 Kratom Dosing Methods. That post has some solid info, so we’re very proud of it, but at the time we had very little knowledge of the method we’re about to discuss today. Enter the world of herbal tinctures.
An herbal tincture is simply a concentrated version of your favorite plant. These concentrates isolate and preserve the vital properties of the herb, which essentially makes them stronger and more effective overall. Whether based from alcohol, vegetable glycerin, or a combination of both, kratom tinctures have a whole lot to offer. Let us count the ways:
1. The Ultimate Convenience
One of the biggest challenges kratomite newbies face is actually getting that powder or crushed leaf down. Krampus loves the taste of kratom, but I’d say he’s a rare (weirdo) one in that regard. Tinctures offer the kinda convenience that appeals to both newbs and experienced user alike. Need some relief at the work, but don’t have time to toss and wash your troubles away? Or maybe you’re stressed out at the airport and want to avoid looking all awkward in front of a bunch of strangers. Never fear. Whip out that bottle of Red MD and dose discreetly. Even if you feel the need to step away for a second, kratom tinctures are inconspicuous and ideally sized, so you can quickly handle your business and be back with the previous program in no time.
2. Easy to Dose
Another common challenge kratom users face is figuring out the right dose – finding that elusive sweet spot. I’ll bet even seasoned veterans will tell you that it can be a frustrating ordeal. While it may still take a bit of experimenting, a kratom tincture can make finding it a heck of a lot easier. Instead of choking down more gritty, nasty powder (it’s actually yummy), you can simply take another couple droppers and get where you need to be.
Killer Tip: When someone fails to get desired results from a tincture, it’s usually due to improper dosing. For example, they take a couple of drops, then are disappointed when they get no effects. In order to get the maximum benefits, you need to dose an herbal tincture in “full droppers”. Kratomites with mid to high level tolerance can usually get great results at anywhere from 4 to 6 full droppers, so keep that in mind.
3. Enhanced Kratom
An herbal tincture is essentially a liquid extract. That means it’s several times more potent than the herb it’s extracted from. As a result, it takes considerably less to produce the desired results. However, kratom users especially, should keep tolerance in mind. Any form of extract, powder, resin, or liquid, can increase tolerance with regular use. In most cases, a little goes a long way so if you can help it, try to use your kratom tincture sparingly.
4. Long Lasting
At this point you may be wondering: how long will my kratom tincture last? Good question with a satisfying answer. You’ll be happy to know that a properly made tincture has a shelf life of many years. Some say that it may even increase in potency over time before it starts to lose its power. Kinda like a fine wine. As with most herbs, proper storage is the key. Keep it out of extreme heat and sunlight, and you’ll be golden. Promise!
5. Cost Effective, Yet Easy to Make
From what we’ve seen on the market kratom tinctures are very affordable. A good one should honestly cost you no more than $25 to $30 per bottle. But if you’re the creative, experimental type who likes to do your own thing, rest assured that brewing up this sort of concoction is something you can do on your own – easy peasy. For a kratom tincture, all you really need is the herb, preferably crushed leaf, a good solvent and a little patience. A solvent like grain alcohol or glycerin will extract the active alkaloids from the herb and the longer you let your concoction sit, the stronger it will turn out in the end.
There you have it kratomites: the benefits of kratom tinctures in a nutshell. While these things can be hit or miss for some, ole Krampus is confident that if you give them a try and take the time to find your personal sweet spot, you will be pleased with the results. Kratom on!!!
Once you settle on a go-to strain, find that glorious sweet spot, and perfect the toss and wash, one of the most exciting aspects of the kratom game is experimenting with new dosing methods. If the taste of kratom is something you’ve never been fond of, or you just have an occasional sweet tooth, then you’ve been waiting on a recipe just like this. Kratom cookies are delicious, incredibly effective, and simple to make – even if you’re challenged in the baking department.
Here’s what you need:
Flour – 2 cups
Baking soda – ½ teaspoon
Salt – ½ teaspoon
Sugar – ½ cup
Brown sugar – 1 cup
Eggs – 2
Butter – 1 stick
Vanilla extract – 1 tablespoon
Chocolate chips – ½ cup???
Kratom – ???
Bowls (medium and large)
Spoon (plastic or wooden)
The amount of kratom is up for debate because it’s ultimately your call. I’ve found 12 grams to be perfect for this particular recipe, which makes 12 medium-sized cookies. You may get more or less depending on how you finesse your dough. Just remember that the more kratom you use, the more of that distinct, earthy taste you’re gonna get. On to the process …
Step 1: Pour your flour, baking soda, salt, and kratom in one bowl. Pour your white and brown sugar in the other.
Step 2: Melt your butter, pour it over your Oreo style sugar, and mix it up with your trusty spoon.
Step 3: Mix your eggs and vanilla extract with your buttery sugar.
Note: The original recipe called for one egg and one egg yolk, but I’ll be honest … separating the egg from the yolk is beyond my culinary skills. Plus I found it was unnecessary for this particular recipe, so yay!
Step 4: This is where I like to preheat my oven to 325. Energy efficiency. You can do it at step 1 if you wish.
Step 5: Combine your first bowl with your second bowl and make your cookie dough.
Note: I can’t imagine tackling this step without a mixer, though I still use a spoon to get my dough to the smooth consistency I prefer.
Step 6: Mix in your chocolate chips into your dough.
Note: The most controversial step of the process. If I remember correctly, the original recipe calls for a cup and a half of chocolate chips. I’m kinda paranoid about the amount sugar as is, so I chose to cut that by a full cup. Mrs. Krampus said the final product was lacking in chips, but I thought everything turned out just right. A judgement call, so we’ll leave it up to you.
Step 7: Lay your cookie dough over parchment paper-layered cookie sheets.
Note: I guess the parchment paper is optional. You may not need it due to the butter in the dough. Or a smidge-thin coating of butter on your cookie sheets will do, too. But the parchment paper works great so I use it.
Step 8: Bake your kratom cookies.
Now the original recipe recommends leaving them in the oven for 8 to 10 minutes. Mrs. Krampus said 12 minutes tops for any cookies. I’ve found that 14 to 16 is best for this project. I’m still not good at the eye test, but sticking between this time range has proved pretty reliable.
Enjoy Your Kratom Cookies!
The only thing left to do now is go to town. One is nice, but so far my personal “sweet spot” is two cookies. Hoping to brave three in the near future. You can obviously spruce this recipe up however you like as far as adding different ingredients goes. I’m a simple man, so I prefer to keep it simple and scrumptious!
There you have it. Kratom cookies in as easy 1,2,3, … 8 steps. We’ve already aced Kratom Ice Cream. So this recipe probably has us all thinking … what other food items might compliment kratom? Hmmm …
Kratom in America is one of the greatest discoveries to come along in quite sometime. From pain management to motivation to anxiety relief, this amazing herb from the east side of the planet is changing lives in droves. Although kratom brings a lot to the table, not everyone is benefiting from all kratom has to offer and in most cases, it’s their own fault! Harsh? Maybe, but I’ll explain as I breakdown how to maximize your kratom usage.
1. Make Sure You’re Ready …
Kratom is an experience you need to be prepared for. Mentally and physically. For example, if you’ve just polished off a number 6 from McRonalds, it probably isn’t a good idea to toss and wash some White Thai or guzzle down that Maeng Da tea right after your meal. Chances are, it’s not gonna work or be so slow to take effect that you fail to get the desired benefits. Rest your belly. Get your mind right and make a commitment to give it a fair shot. Wasted kratom is kratom abuse so make sure your dosing conditions are absolutely ideal.
2. And Use the Right Dosing Method
Kratom is gross. The taste. That texture. Gross! Why not grab some capsules and make the gross factor a non issue? Then again, capsules are kinda hard to swallow and just don’t do the trick, right? When that’s the case, break out the keurig and concoct some potent kratom tea to sip on. There are many ways to dose kratom, and the dosing method you choose will play a huge role in your overall experience and results.
3. Take a “Proper” Dose
Every thing in life is dose dependent. Your car needs a certain amount of oil to function properly. You may need to burn the whole zag to get relief from that low-grade medical marijuana at your fingertips. In order to get the best results from kratom, you’re gonna have to dose a certain amount, and the amount you dose is gonna depend on a broad range of factors. Do you have a tolerance to any medications? Are you currently using any medications? How long have you been using kratom? These variables and others will have a lot to say about where you need to be with your kratom dosing regimen.
4. Have Some More!
I notice that a lot of people benefit from taking very small amounts of kratom – like a teaspoon! Can you believe that? That’s awesome, but not everyone is so lucky. Some people need more, yet are still taking low-scale doses and wondering why they aren’t getting desirable results. Remember the advice about dosing above? Kratom is a safe, gentle, and forgiving herb. Upping your dose a bit will not hurt you and may be just what the doctor ordered to get you where you need to be. Instead of thinking a major Kratzilla style jump, maybe think gradually scaling the ladder so you can ease your way up and better handle the effects.
5. Respect the Kratom Gods!!!
Kratom will not cause you any physical harm, but it is a very potent and powerful herb. While you don’t have to worry about overdosing and convulsing on the floor, over-indulging can make for a rather shitty experience. Gentle or not, kratom deserves its respect. No. You won’t be endured to mental anguish or the hallucinogenic effects purported by the media machine. Still, kratom can be a stern teacher, and if you disrespect her by using too much or mixing with things you probably shouldn’t, she will teach you some very harsh lessons.
See, that wasn’t so bad. I’m not so mean. Just about every one of these lessons was learned from firsthand experience, so trust when I say this isn’t some recycled mumbo jumbo or kratomite snobbery. The fact of the matter is that kratom comes with a learning curve that we’ve all had to ride at one point. It takes some experimenting with dose, ROA, and timing to hit that sweet spot. So hang in there and give it your best effort. There are no guarantees in life, but if you play your cards right, the chances of falling and staying in love with kratom are very very high!
I recently discovered that our girl kratom has a lot in common with matcha, a popular variety of green tea. In fact, they are similar in appearance, texture, and even smell. Although matcha almost looks like a neon green, it kinda reminds me of some nice super green Bali or bright light Maeng Da.
With all these commonalities, I figured kratom would be a suitable replacement in a recipe I found for matcha ice cream. Turns out I was right. With a little (okay a lot of) help from my wife, this recipe turned out perfect. Everything from consistency to taste was on point for this mitragyna muncher. People seemed pretty impressed with the outcome, so I decided to put together a post that will teach you how to make Kratom Ice Cream.
1 Cup of Milk
¾ Cups of Sugar
2 Cups of Heavy Cream
5 Egg Yolks
Step 1: Heat milk and sugar in a saucepan on medium heat. Whisk it up real good.
If you have a little helper or significant other handy, you can save time by putting them on whisking duty.
Step 2: Mix kratom and roughly 2 tablespoons of warm milk in a bowl.
I used about 13 grams, though the original recipe only called for 1 and a half teaspoons of matcha. I thought the final product could’ve used another two grams of powder, but I’m extreme like that. The wife thought the kratom taste was overbearing, but she’s dramatic like that. Use your own judgement here.
Step 3: Create an ice bath for the cream.
We did this by simply pouring the appropriate amount of heavy cream into a bowl, and then sitting it in a larger bowl filled halfway with ice and cold water.
Step 4: Wisk egg yolks in a separate bowl.
The wisking part is easily done with a simple spoon. Separating the yolk from the egg is something that’s totally over my head, but the wife did it with ease. If you lack finesse like me, the YouTube video below may come in handy.
Step 5: Slowly pour milk and sugar mix into yolk bowl. Hold the bowl steady and whisk it up real good before pouring back into the saucepan.
Step 6: Cook your new mix in the saucepan over low heat. Stir constantly and deep enough to hit the bottom of the pan. Keep stirring until your mixture is thick enough to coat the back of your utensil. You can tell by conducting the “finger test”. Dip it in there, run your finger across the back of the spoon or spatula, and when you notice a small trace on the back, your mix is good to go.
This step seems a bit tricky, but it’s not that complicated at all. Just keep on stirring so you’re not making sweet scrambled eggs. Should take about three to five minutes tops.
Step 7: Add your kratom to the mixture and stir like you mean it.
This would be a good time to sprinkle in any additional ingredients you’ve got a taste for. We used a little vanilla extract and cinnamon. The sky’s the limit here.
Step 8: Strain your new green mixture into the heavy cream chillin’ in the ice bath and stir it up real good.
For best results, I suggest straining at least twice. Just to make sure you get all those active goodies in there. So grab another bowl, strain there as many times as you feel comfortable, then strain a final time in the heavy cream bowl.
Step 9: Let your kratom cream chill in the refrigerator for about 30 minutes. 30 minutes later, take your chilled mixture, carefully pour it into a container, cover and freeze. Whisk and stir about every 30 to 45 minutes until everything is evenly frozen and formed.
The original recipe suggests a metal container for faster freezing, but a glass bowl works just fine.
This last step is obviously crucial. If you’re not on top of it, you could end up with a bowl of icey green crystals or worse – a huge chunk of ice! All in all, I probably stirred my frozen mix about six times over six hours. You may be able to cut your time in half by stirring twice every hour or so, but just make sure you allot a few hours for the final mixing procedure.
Once everything is done, if you’d like, you can transfer the finished product into a container better suited for storage.
What to Expect
Of course results may vary, but if you follow this recipe to a tee, I’d say you can expect very good things. For me, that was a nice toasty feeling complete with a calm energy and sense of well being. I felt a fantastic flow of waves wash over my body as I sat cemented on my couch without moving for about two hours. That bowl of ice cream did an excellent job of serving as my first dose of the day.
While we used some super potent Green Maeng Da, any good quality kratom strain will do. I would say this recipe is good for about three to five servings, depending on your sweet tooth. Keep in mind that you can also use your finished product to jazz up iced coffee, root beer floats, and other ice cream-friendly treats.
If you give it a shot, don’t hesitate to report back here and let us know how it goes. More importantly, have fun with it and enjoy!
Kratom tips and tricks, info, and insights from obsessed kratomites!