As it turns out, not everyone finds kratom as delicious as I do. Yes, people are weird. Be that as it may, there are plenty of creative ways to make that miracle herb more palatable, and easy to get down in the process. One of the most popular methods is kratom honey balls, also known affectionately as turd balls. Can’t make this shit up.
Now there are a couple different spins on this recipe. Of course we’re rolling our way down easy street with the simplest version we can imagine. Here goes:
24 grams of kratom powder
25 grams of organic honey (extra gram for an extra slice of sweetness)
Ice cream scooper (optional)
Step 1: Weigh out 12 grams of kratom and place into the bowl.
Step 2: Drizzle your honey over the kratom.
At this point you may be thinking: Krampus, how the fuck do I weigh honey? It’s complicated, but it’s possible. This website provides some info a good method and some benefits. If you trust your judgment, you can get away with eye-balling it. No biggie.
Step 3: Take your handy spoon and mix the ingredients. Stir it real good until the honey binds to the kratom like a freaky, symbiotic marriage.
Step 4: Form the kratom honey into balls. If you have a good ice cream scooper, feel free to use it here. However, this step is easily done with CLEAN hands and a little love. They don’t have to be perfect, but we’re just making a circles Peoples. Come on.
Step 5: Lay the parchment paper down on the counter. You can use it as a rolling surface, or just a temporary placeholder as your balls come off the production line. Giggity?
Step 6: The last step is simply preparing your kratom honey balls for use. Our recipe yields six balls, each containing four grams of kratom powder. From here, some kratomites like to slice their balls into smaller pieces for easier ingestion. This yield wouldn’t last long around here, but these can be kept in the fridge, or even the freezer for longer term storage.
Your World, Your Way
The great thing about kratom honey balls is they’re practically impossible to screw up. Yep. Your resident fool is going on the record to call them fool-proof . That means you can shape these babies in your own vision. Adjust the amount of kratom. Lay it on thick with the honey. Throw it in a saucepan and add some cooking oil to bring some alkaloid goodness to the surface. It’s your show. Enjoy!!!
When it comes to the kratom marketplace, today’s vendors will throw so many options your way that simply choosing a strain can be an overwhelming process if you let it. Along the way, you may end up overlooking some potential gems that are right up your alley.
In our next post, we examine five amazing kratom strains that don’t get nearly enough attention from kratom enthusiasts.
5. White Riau
If you ask ole Krampus, white vein kratom in general is underrated for the simple fact that these strains are vastly underappreciated for their versatility. Take White Riau, for example. Though whites are generally known for their uplifting qualities, this particular strain has a strong calming effect, which suggests that it might be a fine option for uses more commonly associated with red veins. Unlike most strains in its color class, White Riau may very well be something you can use as part of your night-time rotation.
4. Green Thai
Red Vein Thai is easily the most well known of the Thai strains. On the other end of the color spectrum is Green Thai, not necessarily unknown, but from what we can tell, not nearly as celebrated as its red counterpart. That’s a shame too because it’s a wonderful leaf. Thai strains are known for their exceptional potency and this one is no exception. Green Thai combines the stimulating energy common of white veins and the euphoric relaxation reminiscent of a good red. While we are bigger fans of other greens, this one definitely falls in the category of criminally underrated.
3. Red Jongkong
Some of the newest strains we’ve discovered come to us from the Jongkong region of Kalimantan Barat, Indonesia. Red Jongkong has quickly established itself as one of the very best from this area. User feedback is scarce at the moment, but early reviews in our circle suggest that it’s a high-potency strain with strength that tops classic red vein varieties like Borneo and Bali, yet sits a notch below Maeng Da and Hulu Kapuas. If you’re gonna sample any of the virtual unknowns, Red Jongkong is a great one to put on your must-try list.
2. Yellow Bali
I find it amazing how our viewpoints can be so different on some aspects of kratom, yet so similar on others. The overall consensus on yellow vein kratom usually comes to one of three conclusions: mellow effects, a great mixer, or nothing special. Hold on to your horses because Yellow Bali comes through and breaks the mold! Noticeably stronger than the typical yellow, this shade of Bali is incredibly potent with pleasant effects that tend to last quite a while. A multi-purpose leaf that delivers all the benefits kratom is so well known for. Give it a try and you just may find that you have a new go-to strain!
1. Green Papua
Papua kratom originates from New Guinea, a huge island situated between Indonesia and Papua New Guinea. Apparently the island is blessed with extra ideal conditions because all the Papua strains we’ve tried have been excellent – and then some! Green Papua embodies the balance that makes green strains so special; a perfect blend of clean energy and chill mode. For us, the feel good department is where it shines the brightest, so if you appreciate the pick me up qualities kratom brings to the party, Green Papua may be the strain for you.
Yellow Maeng Da
Well there you have it. There’s our list of underrated kratom strains. What strains do you feel deserve a little more love? Let us know in the comments!
In our last post we took a look at crushed leaf kratom and why it’s so friggin’ awesome. A small section of that post was dedicated to kratom tea, one of crushed leaf’s most popular uses. Well this time around we’re gonna set our focus on crushed leaf kratom tea, how to make it, and how to make it good and strong. Made right, this potent concoction can optimize the delivery of the plant’s effects and possibly balance out any existing tolerance issues.
For this particular project we’re gonna be making Yellow Malay tea – that’s Green Malay plus White Malay. Sounds yummy, right? Here’s what we need:
Crushed Green Malay (1 ounce)
Crushed White Malay (1 ounce)
Coffee Filter (just 1)
Water (8 to 10 cups)
So here’s what we need to do:
Step1: Put the water in your coffee maker. This recipe calls for 10 cups of water, which is what my standard coffee maker takes. Feel free to adjust the leaf content according to how much water your machine holds. Hopefully there’s not too big a drop off because the amount of kratom is vital, as we’ll get into later.
Step 2: Put your crushed leaf kratom in the coffee filter. I normally just fill up the filter basket until it’s damn near spilling over, but we need to be precise for instructional purposes. Plus two ounces almost fills it to the brim, so we’re good there.
Step 3: Hit the damn button.
Step 4: Wait … (tick tock)
Step 5: When your tea is done brewing, let it cool a bit, pour it in a cup, and spruce it up how you see fit. Kratom leaf is pretty bitter, not necessarily tasty – unless you’re a weirdo like me – and kratom tea is no exception. Luckily you have a wealth of options here. I personally like to add a little honey and lemon juice. You can also throw a few tea bags in the filter with your leaf or if you’ve got it on hand, some Blue Lotus leaves, which have a hint of natural sweetness to them. Spruce it up just right and kratom tea can be rather tasty. Seriously.
Step 6: Repeat. The cool thing about making kratom tea this way is that you can re-use your leaves. Although the first batch should come out strong enough, we are barely scratching the surface. Your batches should become progressively stronger as you make second, third, and fourth batches. This is easily accomplished as you mix up (stir) your leaves and position them for further alkaloid extraction. I normally stop at four – because the tea gets to be a bit much after a while – but I’ve made as many as five batches of tea using this technique.
Step 7: Store your kratom tea. Without preservatives, each batch of tea should last about five to seven days in the fridge. If you’re not going to consume immediately, make sure you have a plan for storage mapped out. Freezing is also an option. Just something to keep in mind.
Our Yellow Malay tea came out awesome by the way … in case you were wondering.
Additional Ramblings …
By now you may be thinking … “Two ounces of crushed leaf? Damn Krampus, that’s overkill. Wasteful. I can’t afford that.” Not so fast kratomites. Let’s break it down with some simple ghetto math.
Our last post revealed that crushed leaf kratom is very affordable – generally a couple dollars cheaper than powder at least. Now let’s say your favorite vendor retails crushed leaf for $7 an ounce. Maybe even cheaper if you catch him running a sale at say … $5 an ounce.
If you stretch out that leaf to maximize the alkaloid content, the two ounces we put in is gonna yield five batches of potent tea altogether. Even if you feel the need to consume an entire pot in 24 hours, you’ll have enough to last five days. Possibly longer if you’re supplementing with powder, resin, tinctures, or whatever else you might have on hand. Add it all up and it works out to a $14 investment with an immeasurable return. Not bad considering the results and relief you’re gonna get from this little experiment.
Making kratom tea is a lot like making an extract. Technically that’s what you’re doing. In brewing up our tea in our coffee maker, we are essentially extracting the alkaloids from the leaf using a simple combination of water and gentle heat. With any extract project, you put a lot in and usually only get a little in return. For instance, 100 grams of kratom leaf will probably only yield a couple grams of resin or powder extract. But the end product is gonna be strong enough to say a little goes a long way. So if you look at it like this, using two ounces of crushed leaf to make kratom tea is not only cost effective, it makes practical sense. Promise. The moral of the story is … don’t skimp on the leaf!!
Respect Crushed Leaf Kratom Tea!
If you follow this tek even close to the letter you’re gonna end up with some very strong kratom tea on your hands. And if you over-indulge, you may regret it. Not to be too dramatic, but like any extract, too much can result in a situation where you wake up feeling sluggish and a little anxious … until you get that next dose of kratom. I guess that’s what they call a mild case of withdrawal symptoms. You could also end up boosting your tolerance, which very may well defeat the purpose of what you’re trying to accomplish in the first place. Not the biggest deal, but you know … just a word to the wise!
I recently discovered that our girl kratom has a lot in common with matcha, a popular variety of green tea. In fact, they are similar in appearance, texture, and even smell. Although matcha almost looks like a neon green, it kinda reminds me of some nice super green Bali or bright light Maeng Da.
With all these commonalities, I figured kratom would be a suitable replacement in a recipe I found for matcha ice cream. Turns out I was right. With a little (okay a lot of) help from my wife, this recipe turned out perfect. Everything from consistency to taste was on point for this mitragyna muncher. People seemed pretty impressed with the outcome, so I decided to put together a post that will teach you how to make Kratom Ice Cream.
1 Cup of Milk
¾ Cups of Sugar
2 Cups of Heavy Cream
5 Egg Yolks
Step 1: Heat milk and sugar in a saucepan on medium heat. Whisk it up real good.
If you have a little helper or significant other handy, you can save time by putting them on whisking duty.
Step 2: Mix kratom and roughly 2 tablespoons of warm milk in a bowl.
I used about 13 grams, though the original recipe only called for 1 and a half teaspoons of matcha. I thought the final product could’ve used another two grams of powder, but I’m extreme like that. The wife thought the kratom taste was overbearing, but she’s dramatic like that. Use your own judgement here.
Step 3: Create an ice bath for the cream.
We did this by simply pouring the appropriate amount of heavy cream into a bowl, and then sitting it in a larger bowl filled halfway with ice and cold water.
Step 4: Wisk egg yolks in a separate bowl.
The wisking part is easily done with a simple spoon. Separating the yolk from the egg is something that’s totally over my head, but the wife did it with ease. If you lack finesse like me, the YouTube video below may come in handy.
Step 5: Slowly pour milk and sugar mix into yolk bowl. Hold the bowl steady and whisk it up real good before pouring back into the saucepan.
Step 6: Cook your new mix in the saucepan over low heat. Stir constantly and deep enough to hit the bottom of the pan. Keep stirring until your mixture is thick enough to coat the back of your utensil. You can tell by conducting the “finger test”. Dip it in there, run your finger across the back of the spoon or spatula, and when you notice a small trace on the back, your mix is good to go.
This step seems a bit tricky, but it’s not that complicated at all. Just keep on stirring so you’re not making sweet scrambled eggs. Should take about three to five minutes tops.
Step 7: Add your kratom to the mixture and stir like you mean it.
This would be a good time to sprinkle in any additional ingredients you’ve got a taste for. We used a little vanilla extract and cinnamon. The sky’s the limit here.
Step 8: Strain your new green mixture into the heavy cream chillin’ in the ice bath and stir it up real good.
For best results, I suggest straining at least twice. Just to make sure you get all those active goodies in there. So grab another bowl, strain there as many times as you feel comfortable, then strain a final time in the heavy cream bowl.
Step 9: Let your kratom cream chill in the refrigerator for about 30 minutes. 30 minutes later, take your chilled mixture, carefully pour it into a container, cover and freeze. Whisk and stir about every 30 to 45 minutes until everything is evenly frozen and formed.
The original recipe suggests a metal container for faster freezing, but a glass bowl works just fine.
This last step is obviously crucial. If you’re not on top of it, you could end up with a bowl of icey green crystals or worse – a huge chunk of ice! All in all, I probably stirred my frozen mix about six times over six hours. You may be able to cut your time in half by stirring twice every hour or so, but just make sure you allot a few hours for the final mixing procedure.
Once everything is done, if you’d like, you can transfer the finished product into a container better suited for storage.
What to Expect
Of course results may vary, but if you follow this recipe to a tee, I’d say you can expect very good things. For me, that was a nice toasty feeling complete with a calm energy and sense of well being. I felt a fantastic flow of waves wash over my body as I sat cemented on my couch without moving for about two hours. That bowl of ice cream did an excellent job of serving as my first dose of the day.
While we used some super potent Green Maeng Da, any good quality kratom strain will do. I would say this recipe is good for about three to five servings, depending on your sweet tooth. Keep in mind that you can also use your finished product to jazz up iced coffee, root beer floats, and other ice cream-friendly treats.
If you give it a shot, don’t hesitate to report back here and let us know how it goes. More importantly, have fun with it and enjoy!
The best things in life come with advantages and disadvantages, and kratom is no different in that regard. If you’re new to this incredible and very mysterious plant, you’ve probably been looking for info just like this. Without further ado, here’s our take on the pros and cons of kratom.
1. It Works!
In navigating the botanical spear, you’ll find that a lot of herbs are hit or miss. More often than not, this one is a big hit. Of course everyone’s different, but we’ve personally found that good kratom is good kratom. Buy from a reputable vendor known for their quality, and 9.5 times out of 10 you can count on a product that delivers.
2. It’s Flexible
The true beauty of kratom lies in its versatility. By that I mean its ability to cater to wide a variety of needs. People take kratom for a number of reasons, including to:
Eliminate stress and anxiety
The plant’s versatility may be attributed to the belief that it is generally diverse by nature. Kratom is available in numerous varieties, more commonly known to the community as “strains”. From the People’s Champ Bali to the King of Kings Ma Daeng, there are several strains out there and strangely new ones emerging on a regular basis. What’s the difference you ask? Some say potency and to a degree, effects. We’ll further explore this at another time. Moving right along …
3. It’s Widely Available
When we first discovered kratom five years ago, there were at the most 10 vendors that we knew of. Sure, there were realistically more than that, but things were low-key and the market was much smaller. Now there are probably hundreds of vendors. While having so many options to choose from can make things a bit overwhelming for the newbie, we firmly believe this is actually a good thing. One thing we’ve learned is that it pays to have a couple of quality vendors in your back pocket, and once you’re familiar with the landscape, you’ll have some valuable resources at your fingertips.
4. It’s Kinda New …
Now obviously, kratom has been growing in its native homelands for many many years. On a grand scale, however, it’s still a fairly new phenomenon. We didn’t first hear of kratom until 2010. And though awareness has increased dramatically over these last couple of years, most people still don’t have a clue what it is. On the bright side, our research tells us that this herb has been used safely for hundreds of years, so I wouldn’t worry about turning green, growing a third eye, or anything freaky like that.
5. It’s (sometimes) Tricky
Though kratom is extremely effective, it does help to have a little patience. Several people have had to do some experimenting with dose, ROA, and strains before finding something that worked for them consistently. So if you don’t see results on your first go, don’t fret. Give it some time. She can be a finicky girl, but tends to reward those who take the time to get know her.
6. It’s Under a Microscope
Kratom’s explosive growth has been a double edged sword in and of itself. The more people discover it, the greater the scrutiny by the powers that be – the government, lawmakers, Big Bad Pharma – the forces who seem to be more interested in vilifying this herb rather than taking the time to understand and educate people on the facts. When we first discovered it, kratom was legal in most countries and nationwide in the US. As of this writing, kratom is illegal in four states (according to Speciosa.org), with even more states looking to add it to the list of banned substances.
Are we concerned about the legality of kratom moving forward? Hells yeah! But the fact of the matter is that the good outweighs the bad by far. It’s not even close. Realizing this, all we can do is spread the good word, and hope that fate is on our side!
So those free kratom samples you’ve been waiting on finally showed up. You’re friggin’ stoked! Ecstatic! Ready to try this amazing herb you’ve heard so many good things about. But how do I use it? This is the first question many kratom newbies have. Don’t worry. We’ve got ya covered with Krampus Kratom’s countdown of the top 5 dosing methods.
5. Kratom Tea
If you’re new to the game, kratom tea is a great place to start. After all, it’s where I started – and failed miserably, I might add. The goal is to simply extract the alkaloids using scalding hot water as your solvent. This video can probably show you better than I can explain it. Many people swear by kratom tea and when examining the advantages, it’s easy to see why.
It’s easy. If you follow a few steps like those listed in the video above, then you can make kratom tea.
It’s efficient. A good recipe and sound brewing techniques will allow you to get a lot of mileage out of kratom tea.
It’s not tasty. Drizzle in all the honey and sugar you want, kratom tea will likely still challenge your taste buds.
It’s not foolproof. While kratom tea is generally easy to make, it also seems to be the most hit or miss of all dosing methods and may take some practice.
4. Kratom Drink
Word on the streets is that kratom tastes awful. I disagree, but that’s me. To make the taste more palatable, many users resort to integrating their powder into a drink of some sort. Everything from OJ to kratom smoothies are fair game. Use your imagination and you might be able to come up with something that hits the spot and doesn’t taste half bad.
It works fast. Whether it’s a blended smoothie or OJ concoction, mixing the herb in a drink allows you to absorb the goodies directly, resulting in a relatively faster onset that often packs a stronger punch than tea.
It tastes better. With the right ingredients, this method works pretty well at masking the earthy taste many people have a hard time stomaching.
It’s tricky. Getting your dosing right can be tough with this method. Failing to optimally proportion your liquid with your powder could result in a case of too little, or too much as far as impact goes.
It’s gritty. No matter how hot or how wet it gets (settle down pervs), kratom powder will not dissolve. This can make for some horrifically gritty situations when going the drink route.
Capsules offer a simple and straightforward way to dose kratom. While the need for your stomach to break down the gel cap material in addition to the powder causes the onset to be a bit slower than other methods, this was my ROA for at least a year so I can vouch for its effectiveness. “00” sized capsules are perfect for the task at hand.
It’s simple. An easy peasy alternative to swallowing raw, gritty powder.
It’s well balanced. Capsules tend to create a smoother, less overwhelming effect that tones down stronger strains.
It’s lacking. Processing the gel caps not only lengthens the time to take effect, it seems to reduce the impact altogether, making this technique less effective than other methods.
It’s a job. Preparing capsules can be tedious and time consuming – even with a capsule machine. Swallowing big ass capsules can be a challenge, especially when you’re dosing in the 8 to 10 gram neighborhood.
In Thailand, Indonesia, and other places where kratom grows naturally, the natives get down by chewing the fresh leaf straight off the tree. Place a nice-sized ball in your mouth and let it sit in a corner while slowly absorbing the juices sublingual style. I’m sure fresh leaves are preferred, but some quality dry leaf will work wonders as well. Tingle for wondrous tingle, this may very well be the most effective way to consume kratom. The results are flat out incredible!
It’s awesome! Chewing kratom is superbly effective with near instant results.
It’s the traditional way. This method equals undeniable coolness that comes from dosing like the natives and bonding with the plant on an intimate level. (there’s levels to this!)
It’s addictive! Chewing kratom is extremely pleasurable and you may feel the urge to chew more than you normally would dose.
It’s kinda gross. You’re chewing leaves and stems people. If you think kratom tastes offensive in a tea, just wait to you get a load of this method.
It guarantees “kratom mouth”. You’ll spend an extra five minutes mouth washing, brushing and flossing after chomping down on leaf like a cow.
1. Toss and Wash
Finally … toss and wash, another method reserved for the hardest of hardcore kratom enthusiasts. This method is pretty much exactly what it sounds like – open your mouth, toss in a scoop or two of powder, wash it by taking a sip of your beverage, swish swish swish, and swallow. Walla! Toss and wash is one of those methods you either love or hate – and you may still prefer it while loathing it at the same time. There’s very little in between with this one.
It’s surefire. If this one doesn’t produce astounding results, you’ve got weak kratom or tolerance issues. In terms of effects, it’s a “toss” up between this method and chewing. (pun planned)
It’s efficient. Like kratom tea, T&W is efficient but in a different way. The results are near instant and very pronounced, so you can significantly reduce your dosing amount once you find your sweet spot.
It’s foul tasting. If you have a tough time processing the taste of kratom, prepare to struggle. It’s an acquired taste to say the least.
It’s tough to swallow. Toss and wash is an art form, one that takes time to perfect. Powder lodged in your throat. Missing your mouth and spilling shit everywhere. Doesn’t always go smooth for even the veterans.
There is no right or wrong way to dose kratom. As you can see, there are several methods, each with its own set of pros and cons. Everyone has their favorite. The only question is, which method will you start with?
Kratom tips and tricks, info, and insights from obsessed kratomites!