Posted on November 29, 2017
With so many strain options on the menu, choosing the right kratom is often a case of easier said than done. For the complete newb, it can be downright overwhelming. Never fear. We’re here to make the process of finding the best kratom a piece of cake. Buckle up, cause here we go!
1. Consider Your Needs
Everyone is unique, and thus have different requirements. For this reason, identifying your individual needs is the best place to start. Kratom helps in a number of areas, but some strains are better suited for certain needs than others. A perfect example can be seen in strain classes. While red vein kratom is known for its pain relieving qualities, white vein kratom is typically more energizing. So if you need a solution for chronic pain and fatigue, you might lean towards something green, since green vein kratom tends to fall in between red and white.
2. Read User Feedback
Word of mouth is a powerful marketing tool for vendors and a great source of information for consumers. The kratom community has been busy telling their personal stories for years. These testimonials often go into great detail regarding an individual’s motivation for using kratom, the strains they experimented with, and the results they saw in return. The web is chock full of reviews, comments, and opinions on kratom. So it’s a good idea to find yourself a group setting where you can sort through feedback that helps you make an informed decision.
3. Look for the Usual Suspects
Between the color classes, their corresponding strains, and all the branded kratom blends, there are literally dozens upon dozens of options to choose from. With that said, there are a handful of tried and true strains that have been proven to deliver. The Bali’s, Borneo’s and Maeng Da’s of the world instantly come to mind. It’s hard to go wrong when you choose a strain that has a reputation for helping people with similar needs.
4. Just KISS!
As someone new to kratom, the best thing you can do is subscribe to the KISS methodology – as in Keep It Simple Stupid! Not to insult your intelligence, but you put a lot of unnecessary pressure on yourself when you spend time scrolling through all the selections wondering what each individual strain has to offer. Sure, every strain is unique in its own special way, but each variety has more in common than you might think. Why make it harder than you have to? What’s most important is settling on a strain, giving it a shot, and determining how it works for you. Remember: an expert swimmer must get their feet wet before learning to swim.
So score some high-quality kratom from a reliable vendor and work on finding your sweet spot. Whether it’s a timeless classic like Red Vein Thai, or something new and exotic like Sahara, you simply need to get started. Once you decide that kratom is indeed effective and get some experience under your belt, you can shift to connoisseur mode and focus on snatching up every single strain that crosses your path … like me!!!
Posted on June 6, 2017
When it comes to the kratom marketplace, today’s vendors will throw so many options your way that simply choosing a strain can be an overwhelming process if you let it. Along the way, you may end up overlooking some potential gems that are right up your alley.
In our next post, we examine five amazing kratom strains that don’t get nearly enough attention from kratom enthusiasts.
5. White Riau
If you ask ole Krampus, white vein kratom in general is underrated for the simple fact that these strains are vastly underappreciated for their versatility. Take White Riau, for example. Though whites are generally known for their uplifting qualities, this particular strain has a strong calming effect, which suggests that it might be a fine option for uses more commonly associated with red veins. Unlike most strains in its color class, White Riau may very well be something you can use as part of your night-time rotation.
4. Green Thai
Red Vein Thai is easily the most well known of the Thai strains. On the other end of the color spectrum is Green Thai, not necessarily unknown, but from what we can tell, not nearly as celebrated as its red counterpart. That’s a shame too because it’s a wonderful leaf. Thai strains are known for their exceptional potency and this one is no exception. Green Thai combines the stimulating energy common of white veins and the euphoric relaxation reminiscent of a good red. While we are bigger fans of other greens, this one definitely falls in the category of criminally underrated.
3. Red Jongkong
Some of the newest strains we’ve discovered come to us from the Jongkong region of Kalimantan Barat, Indonesia. Red Jongkong has quickly established itself as one of the very best from this area. User feedback is scarce at the moment, but early reviews in our circle suggest that it’s a high-potency strain with strength that tops classic red vein varieties like Borneo and Bali, yet sits a notch below Maeng Da and Hulu Kapuas. If you’re gonna sample any of the virtual unknowns, Red Jongkong is a great one to put on your must-try list.
2. Yellow Bali
I find it amazing how our viewpoints can be so different on some aspects of kratom, yet so similar on others. The overall consensus on yellow vein kratom usually comes to one of three conclusions: mellow effects, a great mixer, or nothing special. Hold on to your horses because Yellow Bali comes through and breaks the mold! Noticeably stronger than the typical yellow, this shade of Bali is incredibly potent with pleasant effects that tend to last quite a while. A multi-purpose leaf that delivers all the benefits kratom is so well known for. Give it a try and you just may find that you have a new go-to strain!
1. Green Papua
Papua kratom originates from New Guinea, a huge island situated between Indonesia and Papua New Guinea. Apparently the island is blessed with extra ideal conditions because all the Papua strains we’ve tried have been excellent – and then some! Green Papua embodies the balance that makes green strains so special; a perfect blend of clean energy and chill mode. For us, the feel good department is where it shines the brightest, so if you appreciate the pick me up qualities kratom brings to the party, Green Papua may be the strain for you.
- Green Sunda
- Red Malay
- Red Vietnam
- Green Cambodian
- Yellow Maeng Da
Well there you have it. There’s our list of underrated kratom strains. What strains do you feel deserve a little more love? Let us know in the comments!
Posted on October 15, 2016
The very first blog we posted for Krampus Kratom outlined the Top 5 Kratom Dosing Methods. That post has some solid info, so we’re very proud of it, but at the time we had very little knowledge of the method we’re about to discuss today. Enter the world of herbal tinctures.
An herbal tincture is simply a concentrated version of your favorite plant. These concentrates isolate and preserve the vital properties of the herb, which essentially makes them stronger and more effective overall. Whether based from alcohol, vegetable glycerin, or a combination of both, kratom tinctures have a whole lot to offer. Let us count the ways:
1. The Ultimate Convenience
One of the biggest challenges kratomite newbies face is actually getting that powder or crushed leaf down. Krampus loves the taste of kratom, but I’d say he’s a rare (weirdo) one in that regard. Tinctures offer the kinda convenience that appeals to both newbs and experienced user alike. Need some relief at the work, but don’t have time to toss and wash your troubles away? Or maybe you’re stressed out at the airport and want to avoid looking all awkward in front of a bunch of strangers. Never fear. Whip out that bottle of Red MD and dose discreetly. Even if you feel the need to step away for a second, kratom tinctures are inconspicuous and ideally sized, so you can quickly handle your business and be back with the previous program in no time.
2. Easy to Dose
Another common challenge kratom users face is figuring out the right dose – finding that elusive sweet spot. I’ll bet even seasoned veterans will tell you that it can be a frustrating ordeal. While it may still take a bit of experimenting, a kratom tincture can make finding it a heck of a lot easier. Instead of choking down more gritty, nasty powder (it’s actually yummy), you can simply take another couple droppers and get where you need to be.
Killer Tip: When someone fails to get desired results from a tincture, it’s usually due to improper dosing. For example, they take a couple of drops, then are disappointed when they get no effects. In order to get the maximum benefits, you need to dose an herbal tincture in “full droppers”. Kratomites with mid to high level tolerance can usually get great results at anywhere from 4 to 6 full droppers, so keep that in mind.
3. Enhanced Kratom
An herbal tincture is essentially a liquid extract. That means it’s several times more potent than the herb it’s extracted from. As a result, it takes considerably less to produce the desired results. However, kratom users especially, should keep tolerance in mind. Any form of extract, powder, resin, or liquid, can increase tolerance with regular use. In most cases, a little goes a long way so if you can help it, try to use your kratom tincture sparingly.
4. Long Lasting
At this point you may be wondering: how long will my kratom tincture last? Good question with a satisfying answer. You’ll be happy to know that a properly made tincture has a shelf life of many years. Some say that it may even increase in potency over time before it starts to lose its power. Kinda like a fine wine. As with most herbs, proper storage is the key. Keep it out of extreme heat and sunlight, and you’ll be golden. Promise!
5. Cost Effective, Yet Easy to Make
From what we’ve seen on the market kratom tinctures are very affordable. A good one should honestly cost you no more than $25 to $30 per bottle. But if you’re the creative, experimental type who likes to do your own thing, rest assured that brewing up this sort of concoction is something you can do on your own – easy peasy. For a kratom tincture, all you really need is the herb, preferably crushed leaf, a good solvent and a little patience. A solvent like grain alcohol or glycerin will extract the active alkaloids from the herb and the longer you let your concoction sit, the stronger it will turn out in the end.
There you have it kratomites: the benefits of kratom tinctures in a nutshell. While these things can be hit or miss for some, ole Krampus is confident that if you give them a try and take the time to find your personal sweet spot, you will be pleased with the results. Kratom on!!!
Posted on July 25, 2016
In our last post we took a look at crushed leaf kratom and why it’s so friggin’ awesome. A small section of that post was dedicated to kratom tea, one of crushed leaf’s most popular uses. Well this time around we’re gonna set our focus on crushed leaf kratom tea, how to make it, and how to make it good and strong. Made right, this potent concoction can optimize the delivery of the plant’s effects and possibly balance out any existing tolerance issues.
For this particular project we’re gonna be making Yellow Malay tea – that’s Green Malay plus White Malay. Sounds yummy, right? Here’s what we need:
- Crushed Green Malay (1 ounce)
- Crushed White Malay (1 ounce)
- Coffee Maker
- Coffee Filter (just 1)
- Water (8 to 10 cups)
- Sprucer Uppers
So here’s what we need to do:
Step1: Put the water in your coffee maker. This recipe calls for 10 cups of water, which is what my standard coffee maker takes. Feel free to adjust the leaf content according to how much water your machine holds. Hopefully there’s not too big a drop off because the amount of kratom is vital, as we’ll get into later.
Step 2: Put your crushed leaf kratom in the coffee filter. I normally just fill up the filter basket until it’s damn near spilling over, but we need to be precise for instructional purposes. Plus two ounces almost fills it to the brim, so we’re good there.
Step 3: Hit the damn button.
Step 4: Wait … (tick tock)
Step 5: When your tea is done brewing, let it cool a bit, pour it in a cup, and spruce it up how you see fit. Kratom leaf is pretty bitter, not necessarily tasty – unless you’re a weirdo like me – and kratom tea is no exception. Luckily you have a wealth of options here. I personally like to add a little honey and lemon juice. You can also throw a few tea bags in the filter with your leaf or if you’ve got it on hand, some Blue Lotus leaves, which have a hint of natural sweetness to them. Spruce it up just right and kratom tea can be rather tasty. Seriously.
Step 6: Repeat. The cool thing about making kratom tea this way is that you can re-use your leaves. Although the first batch should come out strong enough, we are barely scratching the surface. Your batches should become progressively stronger as you make second, third, and fourth batches. This is easily accomplished as you mix up (stir) your leaves and position them for further alkaloid extraction. I normally stop at four – because the tea gets to be a bit much after a while – but I’ve made as many as five batches of tea using this technique.
Step 7: Store your kratom tea. Without preservatives, each batch of tea should last about five to seven days in the fridge. If you’re not going to consume immediately, make sure you have a plan for storage mapped out. Freezing is also an option. Just something to keep in mind.
Our Yellow Malay tea came out awesome by the way … in case you were wondering.
Additional Ramblings …
By now you may be thinking … “Two ounces of crushed leaf? Damn Krampus, that’s overkill. Wasteful. I can’t afford that.” Not so fast kratomites. Let’s break it down with some simple ghetto math.
Our last post revealed that crushed leaf kratom is very affordable – generally a couple dollars cheaper than powder at least. Now let’s say your favorite vendor retails crushed leaf for $7 an ounce. Maybe even cheaper if you catch him running a sale at say … $5 an ounce.
If you stretch out that leaf to maximize the alkaloid content, the two ounces we put in is gonna yield five batches of potent tea altogether. Even if you feel the need to consume an entire pot in 24 hours, you’ll have enough to last five days. Possibly longer if you’re supplementing with powder, resin, tinctures, or whatever else you might have on hand. Add it all up and it works out to a $14 investment with an immeasurable return. Not bad considering the results and relief you’re gonna get from this little experiment.
Making kratom tea is a lot like making an extract. Technically that’s what you’re doing. In brewing up our tea in our coffee maker, we are essentially extracting the alkaloids from the leaf using a simple combination of water and gentle heat. With any extract project, you put a lot in and usually only get a little in return. For instance, 100 grams of kratom leaf will probably only yield a couple grams of resin or powder extract. But the end product is gonna be strong enough to say a little goes a long way. So if you look at it like this, using two ounces of crushed leaf to make kratom tea is not only cost effective, it makes practical sense. Promise. The moral of the story is … don’t skimp on the leaf!!
Respect Crushed Leaf Kratom Tea!
If you follow this tek even close to the letter you’re gonna end up with some very strong kratom tea on your hands. And if you over-indulge, you may regret it. Not to be too dramatic, but like any extract, too much can result in a situation where you wake up feeling sluggish and a little anxious … until you get that next dose of kratom. I guess that’s what they call a mild case of withdrawal symptoms. You could also end up boosting your tolerance, which very may well defeat the purpose of what you’re trying to accomplish in the first place. Not the biggest deal, but you know … just a word to the wise!
Posted on June 5, 2016
The evolution of the kratom landscape has been nothing short of incredible. If you’re a veteran of the game, you may agree that some of the most notable changes have been seen in the plant itself and how it’s distributed.
When we first stumbled upon kratom back in 2010, strain selection was limited to say the least. Not only that, it was packaged up and shipped out as crushed leaf more often than not. Producing crushed leaf kratom is a fairly straightforward process. The leaves are literally crushed into tiny pieces and left to dry in the sun – stems, veins and all. What you end up with is a wonderful assortment of plant matter that on first glance, looks a lot like loose leaf tea. While kratom powder is generally a more user-friendly option for the modern day connoisseur, the versatility of crushed leaf is tough to beat.
Kratom Powder vs. Crushed Leaf Kratom
As we all know, kratom powder is pretty much the standard on today’s marketplace. One question we’re often asked is how crushed leaf kratom compares to kratom powder. Our default answer: it’s tough to say. Sounds like a cop out, I know, but it really is. On one hand, it’s easy to assume that crushed leaf is essentially identical to it’s powdered counterpart. On the other hand, if you factor in the addition of different parts of the plant and the distinct alkaloid profile they offer, it may be safer to assume that they are two entirely different animals. So while it’s still tough to say which is more potent, our personal experiences reveal that the crushed variety has unique effects that are both pronounced and definitely worthwhile.
The Best Kratom Tea!
Crushed leaf kratom is arguably the best choice for kratom tea. In fact, some vendors still refer to it as “kratom tea” due to the fact tea is what it’s most commonly used for. Based on our personal trials, crushed leaf makes a significantly stronger tea than powder. Though powder can be extracted effectively, the leaves allow for better, more efficient absorption of the primary alkaloids, the goodies that fuel the plant’s many benefits. As an added bonus, crushed leaf kratom is incredibly efficient in terms of mileage. We have reused our leaves as many as five times over, losing little to no potency in the process. The results were five knock-your-socks-off pots of kratom tea!
Crushed Kratom Quids
Crushed leaf kratom is the next best thing to mature leaves fresh off the tree. What that means is it lends itself rather easy to the traditional ritual. It has been said that kratom users in Thailand prefer to simply pick leaves from the tree and chew them as is in quid form. With the right sources at your fingertips, you don’t have to travel Southeast Asia to indulge in this vintage practice. You can create your own quasi-quid by taking a medium-sized pinch of crushed leaves, tossing them in the corner of your mouth and occasionally chewing for some sweet sub-lingual action. The effects pretty much come on instantly and in low to medium doses, almost always provide gentle stimulation regardless of the strain. Of course natural energy is merely one benefit kratom brings to the table, so other affects may be felt as well.
From Crushed Leaf to Kratom Powder …
In the event that you have an ample supply at your fingertips, you may be tempted to transform that crushed leaf kratom into powder. Luckily this task can be accomplished with the simplest of equipment. All it takes is a basic coffee grinder to mow that leaf down so fine, it’s almost identical to the premium powder you buy from your favorite kratom vendor. From there you can toss and wash, encapsulate, or use as you would typically dose kratom powder.
Crushed Leaf Kratom For Tolerance Issues
Nothing lasts forever. And unfortunately for some people, that adage applies to kratom and its effectiveness. The more you indulge, the greater chance of tolerance becoming an issue. Since many come onboard with a pre-existing tolerance to traditional meds, a noticeable loss of effectiveness is something an increasing number of users have to deal with. As a result, a large portion of the kratom community has found itself scrambling for solutions to keep tolerance in check – like stem and vein.
As the name suggests, stem and vein kratom is made from the stems and veins of the plant. This special blend contains 9-hydroxycorynantheidine and corynantheidine, two alkaloids that are said to slow down the build up of tolerance. In theory, using these parts of the plant can sort of reset ones tolerance and rekindle kratom’s magic. Since crushed leaf usually contains its fair share of stem and veins, it can possibly be a viable option to help keep tolerance at bay. At the very least, it can help prevent same strain syndrome by serving as yet another variety in the rotation, which some believe is also an effective way to combat tolerance.
A Cost Effective Herbal Solution
For farmers, crushed leaf kratom eliminates the grueling process of having to mill the whole leaves down into the fine powder that we regularly see today. Doing away with this time-consuming method gives them an opportunity to offer resellers a lower price on supply, who eventually pass those cost savings along to you, the consumer. If you’ve noticed that crushed leaf is usually cheaper than kratom powder, this is why.
Think we’re big fans of crushed leaf kratom? You’ve guessed right! It’s affordable, supremely effective, and versatile enough to be used in a broad range of ways. Don’t just take our word for it. Inquire with your trusted vendor and give crushed leaf kratom a try yourself. At one time it was the standard bearer, and while times have changed, we don’t think you’ll be disappointed!!!
Posted on January 2, 2016
Edibles. I’d always known about them, but never really experienced them. At least not properly. That is until I met cannabutter a few years ago. Essential marijuana compounds like THC bind to fatty oils and good old fashioned butter is one of the best sources you can use to extract them.
Whipping up your own cannabis butter is easier than you ever imagined. You don’t need a Magical Butter Machine (it’s sweet, though) or any fancy equipment. I’m gonna show you how to make some supremely potent cannabutter using a few simple items you already have handy in the kitchen.
Here’s what you need:
Cannabis (at least 14 grams)
Butter (4 sticks)
Pyrex bowl (or similar)
To Decarb or Not to Decarb: That is the Question
I recently heard that decarboxylation is critical to maximizing the potential of cannabis extracts. I’ll be honest when I say that I have never ever decarbed using the method I’m about to explain and still ended up with a potent product every time. So while decarbing may be recommended, it’s not a make or break deal, so whether you want to bother with it is totally up to you.
Step 1: Fill a sauce pan about a quarter of the way with water and place it on the stove top over low to medium heat.
Note: Your water will expand when you add the butter, so careful not to use too much so it doesn’t spill over.
Step 2: Add four sticks of butter to the sauce pan once your water starts boiling (or bubble) and bring the heat to a light simmer.
Note: Keep the heat low because if you burn your butter, your project is toast!
Step 3: Add and stir your cannabis into the sauce pan once your butter completely melts in the water.
Note: Contrary to popular belief, you don’t necessarily need premium grade “buds” to make high-quality cannabutter. You can use the trim from your cultivation project or some stems you have laying around – as long they originate from some high quality herb! In fact, my very first go with cannabutter came from 14 grams of old stems, which resulted in an impressively potent product. On the other hand, if you’ve got the chronic to spare, then by all means, go for it!
Step 4: Turn down your heat just below simmer.
Note: You have to be careful here. While heat helps extract the goodies into your butter, too much of it will burn your butter, and if you burn your butter, your project is toast!
Step 5: Wait and stir. Now we wait. Allow your butter to cook, keeping in mind to check on it and stir every 15 to 30 minutes. Hit the bottom of that thing and stir like you mean it (hehe!) .
Note: Depending on how much time I’ve got to spare, I usually allow the butter to cook for anywhere from two to four hours. Of course the longer you allow it to go, the stronger your product will be in the end.
Step 6: Strain your cannabutter into a large bowl, cover and refrigerate.
Note: The original recipe this is based on said to refrigerate for 24 hours, but I’ve found that 12 hours works just fine when you’re crunched for time.
Step 7: Retrieve your cannabuter. The final step is to separate your cannabutter from the water. If all went well, your butter will be hard and green with a thin layer of water beneath. Separating should be fairly easy with a butter knife or spatula. Wrap it up good in some saran wrap and foil and store in the freezer.
Note: With proper storage, cannabutter will last for six months or more. Do what you can to protect it from freezer burn and you should have no worries.
Enjoy Your Cannbutter!
With a beautiful batch of cannabutter at your disposal, you’re ready to make edibles that taste yummilicious and hit the spot in more ways than one. Make some brownies. Maybe some Kratom Cookies. Spread it on some toast. Just take it easy and remember that edibles are a totally different experience than smoking. It’s a whole new world. And like many stoners, you may find that a little goes a long way!
Posted on November 3, 2015
Kratom in America is one of the greatest discoveries to come along in quite sometime. From pain management to motivation to anxiety relief, this amazing herb from the east side of the planet is changing lives in droves. Although kratom brings a lot to the table, not everyone is benefiting from all kratom has to offer and in most cases, it’s their own fault! Harsh? Maybe, but I’ll explain as I breakdown how to maximize your kratom usage.
1. Make Sure You’re Ready …
Kratom is an experience you need to be prepared for. Mentally and physically. For example, if you’ve just polished off a number 6 from McRonalds, it probably isn’t a good idea to toss and wash some White Thai or guzzle down that Maeng Da tea right after your meal. Chances are, it’s not gonna work or be so slow to take effect that you fail to get the desired benefits. Rest your belly. Get your mind right and make a commitment to give it a fair shot. Wasted kratom is kratom abuse so make sure your dosing conditions are absolutely ideal.
2. And Use the Right Dosing Method
Kratom is gross. The taste. That texture. Gross! Why not grab some capsules and make the gross factor a non issue? Then again, capsules are kinda hard to swallow and just don’t do the trick, right? When that’s the case, break out the keurig and concoct some potent kratom tea to sip on. There are many ways to dose kratom, and the dosing method you choose will play a huge role in your overall experience and results.
3. Take a “Proper” Dose
Every thing in life is dose dependent. Your car needs a certain amount of oil to function properly. You may need to burn the whole zag to get relief from that low-grade medical marijuana at your fingertips. In order to get the best results from kratom, you’re gonna have to dose a certain amount, and the amount you dose is gonna depend on a broad range of factors. Do you have a tolerance to any medications? Are you currently using any medications? How long have you been using kratom? These variables and others will have a lot to say about where you need to be with your kratom dosing regimen.
4. Have Some More!
I notice that a lot of people benefit from taking very small amounts of kratom – like a teaspoon! Can you believe that? That’s awesome, but not everyone is so lucky. Some people need more, yet are still taking low-scale doses and wondering why they aren’t getting desirable results. Remember the advice about dosing above? Kratom is a safe, gentle, and forgiving herb. Upping your dose a bit will not hurt you and may be just what the doctor ordered to get you where you need to be. Instead of thinking a major Kratzilla style jump, maybe think gradually scaling the ladder so you can ease your way up and better handle the effects.
5. Respect the Kratom Gods!!!
Kratom will not cause you any physical harm, but it is a very potent and powerful herb. While you don’t have to worry about overdosing and convulsing on the floor, over-indulging can make for a rather shitty experience. Gentle or not, kratom deserves its respect. No. You won’t be endured to mental anguish or the hallucinogenic effects purported by the media machine. Still, kratom can be a stern teacher, and if you disrespect her by using too much or mixing with things you probably shouldn’t, she will teach you some very harsh lessons.
See, that wasn’t so bad. I’m not so mean. Just about every one of these lessons was learned from firsthand experience, so trust when I say this isn’t some recycled mumbo jumbo or kratomite snobbery. The fact of the matter is that kratom comes with a learning curve that we’ve all had to ride at one point. It takes some experimenting with dose, ROA, and timing to hit that sweet spot. So hang in there and give it your best effort. There are no guarantees in life, but if you play your cards right, the chances of falling and staying in love with kratom are very very high!
Posted on June 8, 2015
I recently discovered that our girl kratom has a lot in common with matcha, a popular variety of green tea. In fact, they are similar in appearance, texture, and even smell. Although matcha almost looks like a neon green, it kinda reminds me of some nice super green Bali or bright light Maeng Da.
With all these commonalities, I figured kratom would be a suitable replacement in a recipe I found for matcha ice cream. Turns out I was right. With a little (okay a lot of) help from my wife, this recipe turned out perfect. Everything from consistency to taste was on point for this mitragyna muncher. People seemed pretty impressed with the outcome, so I decided to put together a post that will teach you how to make Kratom Ice Cream.
- Kratom (duh)
- 1 Cup of Milk
- ¾ Cups of Sugar
- 2 Cups of Heavy Cream
- 5 Egg Yolks
Step 1: Heat milk and sugar in a saucepan on medium heat. Whisk it up real good.
If you have a little helper or significant other handy, you can save time by putting them on whisking duty.
Step 2: Mix kratom and roughly 2 tablespoons of warm milk in a bowl.
I used about 13 grams, though the original recipe only called for 1 and a half teaspoons of matcha. I thought the final product could’ve used another two grams of powder, but I’m extreme like that. The wife thought the kratom taste was overbearing, but she’s dramatic like that. Use your own judgement here.
Step 3: Create an ice bath for the cream.
We did this by simply pouring the appropriate amount of heavy cream into a bowl, and then sitting it in a larger bowl filled halfway with ice and cold water.
Step 4: Wisk egg yolks in a separate bowl.
The wisking part is easily done with a simple spoon. Separating the yolk from the egg is something that’s totally over my head, but the wife did it with ease. If you lack finesse like me, the YouTube video below may come in handy.
Step 5: Slowly pour milk and sugar mix into yolk bowl. Hold the bowl steady and whisk it up real good before pouring back into the saucepan.
Step 6: Cook your new mix in the saucepan over low heat. Stir constantly and deep enough to hit the bottom of the pan. Keep stirring until your mixture is thick enough to coat the back of your utensil. You can tell by conducting the “finger test”. Dip it in there, run your finger across the back of the spoon or spatula, and when you notice a small trace on the back, your mix is good to go.
This step seems a bit tricky, but it’s not that complicated at all. Just keep on stirring so you’re not making sweet scrambled eggs. Should take about three to five minutes tops.
Step 7: Add your kratom to the mixture and stir like you mean it.
This would be a good time to sprinkle in any additional ingredients you’ve got a taste for. We used a little vanilla extract and cinnamon. The sky’s the limit here.
Step 8: Strain your new green mixture into the heavy cream chillin’ in the ice bath and stir it up real good.
For best results, I suggest straining at least twice. Just to make sure you get all those active goodies in there. So grab another bowl, strain there as many times as you feel comfortable, then strain a final time in the heavy cream bowl.
Step 9: Let your kratom cream chill in the refrigerator for about 30 minutes. 30 minutes later, take your chilled mixture, carefully pour it into a container, cover and freeze. Whisk and stir about every 30 to 45 minutes until everything is evenly frozen and formed.
The original recipe suggests a metal container for faster freezing, but a glass bowl works just fine.
This last step is obviously crucial. If you’re not on top of it, you could end up with a bowl of icey green crystals or worse – a huge chunk of ice! All in all, I probably stirred my frozen mix about six times over six hours. You may be able to cut your time in half by stirring twice every hour or so, but just make sure you allot a few hours for the final mixing procedure.
Once everything is done, if you’d like, you can transfer the finished product into a container better suited for storage.
What to Expect
Of course results may vary, but if you follow this recipe to a tee, I’d say you can expect very good things. For me, that was a nice toasty feeling complete with a calm energy and sense of well being. I felt a fantastic flow of waves wash over my body as I sat cemented on my couch without moving for about two hours. That bowl of ice cream did an excellent job of serving as my first dose of the day.
While we used some super potent Green Maeng Da, any good quality kratom strain will do. I would say this recipe is good for about three to five servings, depending on your sweet tooth. Keep in mind that you can also use your finished product to jazz up iced coffee, root beer floats, and other ice cream-friendly treats.
If you give it a shot, don’t hesitate to report back here and let us know how it goes. More importantly, have fun with it and enjoy!
Posted on May 29, 2015
The effects of kratom are wide ranging and very intriguing to say the least. Some of the most interesting of those effects are related to sex drive and performance. Being that these are two of my favorite topics, I’m uber excited to discuss the up and down relationship between kratom and sex.
Some herbs have a reputation for their libido enhancing qualities. Yohimbe, Horny Goat Weed (why not?), and Tongkat Ali come to mind. When it comes to giving Mr. Happy added incentive to uhh … stand up and shout … kratom has a little of that going for it, as I learned in my early experiences.
Sex on kratom was something I just kinda fell into. It was during my rookie season and ironically around the time I actually started getting good results with the herb. First time out was spontaneous – and a bomb right out the park! Instantly, I was confident that I had extracted yet another benefit from this amazing plant! Specifically, kratom gave me considerably more stamina and some extra “umph” in the stroke game. I guess you can blame this on its remarkable stimulant properties. Life is good at this point.
I was so impressed with kratom’s sexual enhancement qualities that I recommended it to my Dad, who had positive outcomes as well. But then the tide started to shift. Kratom has a kinda numbing effect, which can be good when you’re in pain and need of relief. Not so much when you’re trying to be Mr. Lover Man. The first issue I experienced was being so numb that Mr. Happy lost the sensitivity needed to fully enjoy the experience. In order words, I just couldn’t reach the finish line, and with Mrs. Happy not necessarily being a fan of the marathon, I started throwing in the towel, like “fuck it!”
A Real Downer
Lasting too long is a drag, but not necessarily a deal breaker, right? But then there’s that numbing thing, this time working in the other direction. Apparently kratom can make Mr. Happy feel a little too comfortably numb. Like he doesn’t wanna come out and play at all. “My mind is telling me yes … but my body … my body is tellin’ me nooooo!” Done in my R. Kelly voice for shits and giggles, but needless to say, this turn of events led to some very disappointing moments.
So that was my experience in a nutshell – minus all the frustration and “Why God? Why?!” stuff. That’s coming from a male perspective, though. What do women have to say about kratom and sex? Turns out it’s a little of the same – on both sides of the coin. I’ve heard accounts from ladies who say kratom makes them extra randy in the bedroom, boasting the type of performances you might associate with amphetamine. I’ve also heard from those who say kratom literally sucks the drive right out of them. It takes two to tango and get pleasantly tangled, so if she ain’t in the mood, it ain’t happening – whether you’re ready to rock and roll or not.
Sex-Friendly Strains and Solutions
I found it very strange how kratom could be so two-faced. Then after more experimentation and experience with the herb, I began to connect some of the things I learned about different varieties. Some strains are more stimulating and energetic. Others are more sedating and relaxing. The former theory proved to be true in trial runs with Green Hulu Kapuas. I’ve found that this particular strain of kratom consistently acts as both an aphrodisiac and enhancer in that it not only sustains sex drive, it increases it and provides an encouraging lift its cousin Yohimbe would be proud of.
As someone with a healthy obsession for both sex and kratom, I had to find a happy medium. The answer to my problem was a two-part solution. They say there’s a natural equivalent to every man-made drug, and on cue, I found some viable alternatives to Viagra in herbs. The aforementioned Yohimbe is part of an herbal stack that has never failed me. In fact, it’s so effective, you have to tread carefully with dosing because too much can be strenuous on the heart – like fatally. A little goes a long way here, so take it easy you animals!
The second part just comes down to timing. If I have bumpin’ and grindin’ in mind, I’m very conscious about when I dose to make sure it’s not too close to go time. Timed just right, it’s possible to enjoy those euphoric bodily sensations kratom has been known to produce right as your in the … on the tail end of your session. In this case, the use of additional herbs can be an enhancer, or a backup plan if you don’t have timing quite down to the tee.
Love kratom but fear its chill qualities are caging the animal within you? Parking your sexual appetite a little too close to the curb? Don’t fret. Took some playing around, but with some sound strategy, I’ve learned that I can indeed have my cake and eat it too. So can you!
Don’t be shy. If you have some insight on the topic of kratom and sex, feel free to share it in a comment. The book on kratom is still being written and it’s up to us to write every chapter – even the steamy parts!